Connection/being known by others and God is one of our deepest innate desires as humans. Yet, attempts to fulfill that desire with others as well as God often feel elusive or unattainable.
Why does connection feel so complicated?
First off, it can be scary! Attempts for new connections or the deepening of existing relationships opens the door for rejection, risk, and awkwardness.
Those negative thoughts are founded often on prior bad experiences (a topic for another day), and the idea that we need to perform to earn our value. That somehow if we can be good enough, smart enough, or make enough, the other person will be coaxed into wanting to know us.
Second, earning our worth is essentially another way of communicating that as I am, I am not enough. In order to be enough, I must earn my worth and value. This is so prevalent in many of the folks I see. It is also a common occurrence in many faith systems where belief in God often coincides with the belief that I am simply a sinner and if I don't get this right (earning worth and value), there may be hell to pay.
This mentality is not good news, it's bad. It begins with the belief that you are not enough and that something is wrong with you. It creates a system where we have to always fight to earn love, value, and worth. This system refuses to allow us to be present. You see, we are too busy over analyzing everything to be able to sit in the moment with others/God.
I work with a lot of clients on starting from an entirely different perspective. That you, as you are, are enough. Eliminating the tasks of worrying, performing, analyzing what others/God think and shortening our job description to you, simply being you.
I understand that the main reason we don't take this road is because often we feel like our true self isn't enough. I argue that your true self, in its absolute rawest form is absolutely enough. That you, in all the messiness of life is your true self, and the one God/others want to know.
Why?
Because, we are drawn to the humanity of life. Not untouchable perfection.
This week, stop trying to earn love and focus on letting yourself be found.
