Stopping by Woods on a Snowey Evening - Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

 

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

 

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

 

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

                             -Robert Frost

I found this commentary on the poem quite interesting and you can find it here:

"Have you ever wanted to escape from the world for a little while? Perhaps to go watch some woods fill up with snow? Leave Facebook to accumulate friend requests and wall posts for you, let the e-mails pile up, record a mischievous away message on your cell phone, stuff the homework, the papers, and the tests under the bed? Well, then this is a poem for you.

Sometimes we crave a little vacation from responsibility. Sometimes we get hungry for alone time like the speaker does in "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening." In a world in which we are constantly stimulated by the Internet, TV, phones, and ads, and in a world in which we are busy, do we get to spend much time alone?" (Shmoop Editorial Team, 2008)

Thoughts worth pondering.  I shared this today as I reflect on how busy life has been and my yearning to slow down and seek peace...hope this connects with you as well.

As always, you can find me at:

Restoration Therapy Nashville - 909 18th Ave South, Nashville, TN 37212

or

Restoration Therapy Brentwood - 9005 Overlook Drive, Brentwood, TN 37027

(615) 428-5513

Shmoop Editorial Team. (2008, November 11). Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. Retrieved May 18, 2017, from http://www.shmoop.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/

Thoughts on Change

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new"

-Socrates

It seems to me that one of the biggest barriers for folks considering counseling is questioning if change is possible. We hear stories of change happening. However, when we reflect on our own relational/inner challenges, change often appears out of reach. 

Responding differently to those who frustrate us, engaging our fear, not playing anxiety's games, refusing to allow depression to keep us isolated, or truly listening to our emotions (all different forms of change), can often feel as complex as learning a new language. And, unfortunately, we haven't found pills that cure anxiety or fix your marriage yet.  

Change is difficult.

We live in a culture where we are incredibly hard on ourselves. We are surrounded by pictures/movies/ads/voices/friends that can make the best of us seem to be lacking in one area or another. Feeling "less than", "not enough", or "too much" are now common thoughts for many of us. Our self-expectation quickly can become unrealistic, and unhealthy.

Sadly, all this pressure we load on ourselves does not motivate change.  It appears to overload us with shame, guilt, and fear instead. These negative emotions/motivations are not solid ground on which to seek change. 

As a matter of fact, those motivations are often the single most common reason change eludes us. Every time we fall short, the "hard on ourselves" voice repeats the "not good enough..." lines.  Then, often after we fall short of our unhealthy expectations a few times, those little negative tapes in our heads make a small, but dangerous turn.  

They sneakily switch from "I'm not good enough" to "I'll never be good enough".    

How do we break some of these negative patterns/cycles? Here are a few thoughts I have been tossing around:

What if pursuit of change was centered on a motivation that you are enough just as you are...right now? 

What if one of your primary focuses in regard to change was living in the present moment? The unchangeable past and unpredictable future are breeding grounds for shame, regret, worry, anxiety, and fear.  What if you spent your time and energy on here and now?

What if changed ceased to be about earning love, worth, or value, but rather was about accepting that you, in your most vulnerable humanity, are lovable? Accepting that your imperfections make you lovable.  

What if it means taking care of yourself, listening to your heart, body, and responding to those needs?  

What if caring for yourself was not selfish, but critically important?

What if it was about living the life you want, as much as possible, today? 

What if the focus wasn't fixing something broken (negative), but building something new (positive)?

What if...

Barbara Arrowsmith-Young is the Creator and Director of Arrowsmith School and Arrowsmith Program, and the author of the international best-selling book The Woman Who Changed Her Brain (www.barbaraarrowsmithyoung.com/book). She holds a B.A.Sc. in Child Studies from the University of Guelph, and a Master's degree in School Psychology from the University of Toronto (Ontario Institute for Studies in Education).

This is a beautiful story of change. It's not easy, but it's possible.